during the school year: eats every single edible thing i can find
during summer: idk i think i ate an almond today
thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

nervous-crossbow:

yeahseeimclever:

spermjackiavelli:

miss-nerdgasmz:

modifiedmermaid:

freemindfreebody:

swift-as-the-coursing-river:

jimcavill:

Because a man has to be a sociopath to love a woman with cellulite. Fuck this world. 

If all residents of hell look like Scarlett Johansson, I renounce my atheism and take up Satanism

whoever wrote this needs to be punched. a lot.

oh no 27. im 19 and have it, welcome to the non airbrushed real world

#that article is bullshit #i would pay anything to look as good as her #like goddamn

I’m 20 and I have stretch marks and cellulite.

Most people get cellulite and stretch marks around 15. Literally because Puberty.

She looks hot as fuck okay? Besides, maybe he’s just attracted to her personality GASP

nervous-crossbow:

yeahseeimclever:

spermjackiavelli:

miss-nerdgasmz:

modifiedmermaid:

freemindfreebody:

swift-as-the-coursing-river:

jimcavill:

Because a man has to be a sociopath to love a woman with cellulite. 
Fuck this world. 

If all residents of hell look like Scarlett Johansson, I renounce my atheism and take up Satanism

whoever wrote this needs to be punched. a lot.

oh no 27. im 19 and have it, welcome to the non airbrushed real world

#that article is bullshit #i would pay anything to look as good as her #like goddamn

I’m 20 and I have stretch marks and cellulite.

Most people get cellulite and stretch marks around 15. Literally because Puberty.

She looks hot as fuck okay? Besides, maybe he’s just attracted to her personality GASP

simplysouthernxo:

southernshellsandweddingbells:

onyasideburnss:

amazonian-warrior-princess:

terrible-beauty:

amroyounes:

True love never gets old!

I am Rita

the fairy

I wish to have love like this.

I am shedding tears

God I love old people

tardissauce:

so my biology teacher spells energy like nrg wtf is this taking out vowels like this is some fall out boy song title

ohdaesusie:

this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much

houseofalexzander:

My Body.
The majority of society says that I can’t wear a dress. The majority of society says that I can’t wear a skirt. The majority of society says that I can’t  wear high heels. The majority of society says that I can’t  wear a sports bra, or any bra for that matter….
Well I say, I CAN & I WILL.  This body is MY BODY.  It is MY CHOICE.
I will wear anything I want to wear, and I will work it. Confidently. Despite societies expectations of MY LIFE!
What do you do, despite what the majority of society expects of you? How do you free yourself from these chains? Share your story!
-Elliott Alexzander

houseofalexzander:

My Body.

The majority of society says that I can’t wear a dress.
The majority of society says that I can’t wear a skirt.
The majority of society says that I can’t wear high heels.
The majority of society says that I can’t wear a sports bra,
or any bra for that matter….

Well I say, I CAN & I WILL.
This body is MY BODY.
It is MY CHOICE.

I will wear anything I want to wear, and I will work it.
Confidently.
Despite societies expectations of MY LIFE!

What do you do, despite what the majority of society expects of you?
How do you free yourself from these chains?
Share your story!

-Elliott Alexzander

tagged: +me 

valvala:

boundtothewater:

ashfirin:

please watch this video of a deer having a temper tantrum because no one will feed him

feed him

this dog is SICK